


the monster in your head, won't surface again.

by anathcma



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Asexuality, Bisexuality, Canon Related, Canon-Typical Violence, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Homoromantic, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Melancholy, Nygmobblepot, Suffering, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 13:15:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14021040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anathcma/pseuds/anathcma
Summary: this was the feeling ed had buried forso long.so long.the riddler held no restraint.---(alternate ending to 'the reunion' in 4x14)





	the monster in your head, won't surface again.

**Author's Note:**

> please listen to this while reading. just click on it and let it play. it was the inspiration for this melancholy tale.
> 
>  [staying - koda](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PClJma9Q8U)

\- - -

"he read my letter!" oswald chuckled, tears welling in his eyes at his best friend's return.

edward nygma shot up out of his chair, taken by surprise.

"no! you're wrong!" he jerked his arm at the smirking man in front of him.

"i am ED!" 

he pointed at himself.

"EDWARD NYGMA, that is it!"

oswald couldn't stand still, the tears became more apparent.

"lee believes in me! she sees me for who i am!"

something in ed was pleading, while something in oswald snapped.

"but i see him!" oswald took a step closer, his face twisting with violent sorrow.

"ED!"

"no.." ed turned around to hastily snatch the pen off of oswald's release papers.

oswald flared, rapidly pushing himself against ed, forcing his suit jacket apart.

"lee thompkins may have made ed strong," 

the breathing between them was irregular and unsteady. oswald's hands wouldn't seize from ed's body, grasping at whatever he could feel.

"but i see the other you." oswald breathed.

oswald clutched ed a little longer, then unwillingly letting go. 

this was a side of oswald that ed wasn't expecting, he didn't know how to feel.

oswald was crying now, wet fog wading around his eyes.

their eyes locked.

"the one whose name i wouldn't speak." oswald's voice started to crack.

ed stared, exhaling shakily. 

"but because he has earned it, and because i need him. i am saying now-"

"no! pl- please.."

ed panicked, gripping whatever he could of oswald, his hands shaking.

"i.. need.. you." oswald began, pushing his body towards ed's.

the arousing dance of dominance.

"please." ed begged, trembling forcibly.

_"riddler."_

you could hear a pin drop.

oswald eased.

ed cracked and pulled oswald by his asylum unform.

oswald gasped, struggling, but not too much. he was okay with dying by his lover's hand.

ed put his hands around oswald's head, seething. he was angry.

tears fell down oswald's face. this was it.

 

and there it was.

 

the riddler's gaze softened, his hand on oswald's cheek became increasingly gentle.

oswald panted sporadically, his eyes fixated on those deep brown irises of the man above him.

the riddler grazed his thumb across oswald's cheek, wiping the tears still forming in the smaller man's eyes.

oswald didn't move. he was afraid.

 

then it happened.

 

the riddler eased his body against oswald's a little more.

he breathed against oswald's lips, avoiding his eyes. 

the riddler seized his own body, but he was still edward. edward felt this, he was still in there. 

this was the feeling ed had buried for _so long._

 

_so long._

 

the riddler held no restraint.

he let himself feel it. the pain washed away. there was no isabella. no revenge. no hatred. 

he remembered.

oswald hovering over him when he was unconscious, clinging to death. 

pulling him from the depth of obliteration, awakening his conscious, opening his eyes to the angel in purple.

to the couch that night, in the mansion.

oswald was always here for him.

it became clear.

there was no isabella, anymore. that did not matter. 

the little bird was always clutching to him, preventing harm from ever being done.

this is what it felt like.

love.

he rose back to the present.

oswald's breath quivering, gazing at the riddler's parted lips.

the riddler gently pressed his lips against oswald's. 

aspiring heat melted the cold air.

the buried emotions resurfaced.

he could no longer hide them.

"i need you." oswald's tears shattered in his throat.

**Author's Note:**

>  _the monster in your head, won't surface again_  
>  be still my child, wash away the sin.  
> and i as future king, walk off the edge.  
> hold me by my name, hold me till the end.


End file.
